Things that kids have said to me over the last 6 years of teaching:
My brains aren't strong enough
I'm glad they found the dwarf
What about Russia?
I like Beef
Santa is a fucking paedo
I tried to munch a Stretch Armstrong once (it looked peng)
Nothing is impossible. Except dinosaurs.
I wish I was cool
Fat people are back in
What's Anemia, is that when you're gay?
Please! It's a PG! I'm allowed!
I must have lost, because there is no way I could feel like this if I'd won
Wait, A4 doesn't have 7 sides
Is France in Liverpool?
Some people claim this is art, I did it because I'm a wanker
Keep it complicated
What's a mandate- is that a fruit?
I can't colour in the pond
I want a unicorn
"If you want to fuck a Moose, you have to have a plan,"
I nicked his lemon
What if you adopt a kid and it turns out to be a robot?
Sweeties will never die
Forgot My Lunch
Fill the gap with a smiley face
How wide was your box?
Your face is not conducive to a strong erection.
Never don't masturbate to porn
Better crap than a queer
Have you never seen milk before
Is Cornwall a city
Double-ended: the lesbian way
Squirrels don't get rabies
Monkey Milk: make sure you use a female.
Boobs are like Pringles- you can't explain their appeal and you can never get enough
If I had short hair, I'd look like a boy with Downs Syndrome
How can you transfer into a gorilla?
WHY aren't you dribbling?!?
I tend to eat when I'm hungry
Why do I do this? Because I'm a boy!!
You know African, do they write in Chinese?
Bill Brings Bacon
Trepanation for the nation
That's not vigilante justice, that's mobile alcoholism
Everyone has genitals
I don't like wearing socks
Deploy the Retard
I take Heroin so I can't get nuked
...let's go Camden where you can get sucked off! ... or licked off, if that's what you like...
Are goldfish real fish?
Is the Black Market where they sold slaves?
It wouldn't be a game without pain
What's the difference between a ghetto and a grotto?
Grab something sharp, we're invading France!
Just waking up in the morning is a victory.
God looks like a crack addict.
I'm in pain, I'm not a millionaire: fuck you.
Sheeps are alright
Money is the infinite power of Christ.
I know there probably won't be, but there MIGHT be boobs.
Why mature? Cheese just gets softer and smellier when it matures.
Who was the first king, was it Jesus?
How did you not know- it was on facebook?
All the nice boys are out there... Waiting for me.
It's not logical, it's just History.
I'm good, but sometimes I lie.
I kept all the pregnant people
You haven't lived if you're not a little messed up.
Daffy Duck is a dude. I would totally go drinking with Daffy.
Boobs is fine.
Poon is poon.
Knee high to a blow job
I like looking at the deformed ones